Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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