What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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