sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i would punch a child for taco bell
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
