She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
