Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
