No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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