So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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