Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
