he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just high enough for therapy.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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