drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
