ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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