Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize