You can't special order awesome
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
whose parrot is this?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
