Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
