Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
