we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
