I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
