Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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