I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
