one might say we're banned from that church
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
