I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
