How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
