I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
