would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize