Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
