Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
