the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
