Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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