So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
