her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
