let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
