whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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