Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
