he shaved USA in his pubs
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
