lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
