Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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