i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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