the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
