I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
