Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's blow job season.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize
