Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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