She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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