3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize