i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
