Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
