nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
