i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
