not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
