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• (954): View more from Florida

  When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND

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• (845): View more from New York

  puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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• (818): View more from California

  I just ran into the couch, vagina first.

  (1-818): View more from California

  I hope you got dinner out of it

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  So you had sex with my brother?

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

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• (415): View more from California

  Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself

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