I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
