I just saw a hot homeless man
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize