Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
