are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
