Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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