You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
