The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
