So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
