I'm going to jail i love you
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wish my penis had a tongue
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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