Plan B is the new Plan A
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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