therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
