He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
