He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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