Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
