How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
