The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
