Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
