weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Be still, my beating vagina.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
