You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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