he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
