didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
