He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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