i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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