did you get engaged???
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
