good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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