I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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