We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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