I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
