My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize